


Here Comes A Thought

by Artisanthemage



Series: Based on SU songs [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Based off the song "here comes a thought", F/M, Feels, Make him go home, Mention of Mara Jade, Mention of han solo, Please watch the SU ep "mindful education", Someone hug kylo please, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:05:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7911076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artisanthemage/pseuds/Artisanthemage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo's mind has become unstable after the destruction of Starkiller base. It is now up to you to settle him down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here Comes A Thought

**Author's Note:**

> Once again singing Kylo Ren.

You sat on the floor of the training with your legs crossed under you, “Sit.” You held a hand out gesturing to the spot in front of you. The following weeks after Starkiller’s base destruction, your master Kylo Ren has become more unstable than usual. So unstable that him destroying consoles was far better than the amount of deaths of officers and soldiers, was missed. Kylo even had Force choked the General without so much as even speaking to the red hair man. Your master looked hesitate to do what you asked. You could feel the internal conflict in him as grown, so you were sure make the room feel calm and welcoming with your Force signature. “Please sit down with me, master.” You could see him pounder the request before giving in and sat down the same way you are. “What is the meaning of this?” He mask’s voice modifier hid his shaky voice but the clenching and unclenching of his fist told you his mood. You closed your eyes, your hands folded, fingers intertwining with each other, thumbs touching the pads of each other. You took a jump breath in and out. Kylo watched knowing what you were doing. Meditating. He could off his mask placing it besides him and copied you. He closed his eyes and took a long deep breath. 

“Listen to the sound of my voice.” 

Kylo blocked out everything around him easily. This was a basic skill he learned years ago. 

“Now open your mind.” 

Kylo did but flinched as he did. Opening his mind meant opening himself to...Himself.

_ “Focus on the sound of my voice, master.” _ You smooth him. He eyes closed tightly as he tried. 

 

_ “Take a moment to think of just _

_ Flexibility, love, and trust _

_ Take a moment to think of just _

_ Flexibility, love, and trust”  _

 

His eyes snapped open when he realized you weren’t speaking with your mouth anymore. He looked around him, the room changed from the training room to a blue void. He looked back at you. You gave him a reassuring smile then looked away to your right. Kylo followed your line of sight.

 

_ “Here comes a thought _

_ That might alarm you _

_ What someone said _

_ And how it harmed you” _

 

Another you stood looking at the ground holding yourself tightly. An orb of red light next to you, bumping your shoulder.  The other you looked at it then jumped back with tears building up in your eyes.  Kylo could see the orb circle around the other self. Other tried to run away from it but more orbs of red appeared.. 

 

“ _ Something you did _ __   
_ That failed to be charming _ __   
_ Things that you said are _ _   
_ __ Suddenly swarming ” 

 

The memory of the time you and a twin appeared when the orbs gathered together into one large memory. 

 

_ “And, oh, you're losing sight, you're losing touch _ __   
_ All these little things seem to matter so much _ __   
_ That they confuse you _ _   
_ __ That I might lose you” 

 

Your mind projected the memory so vividly. You standing over your fallen twin, dead in your arms. You were crying into her chest screaming ‘I’m sorry”. Kylo knew about this detail of your life. The twin sister you had, the sibling rivalry you both had. Your twin choose to follow the ways of the Jedi and you decided to follow the Sith. Kylo would have thought this would have lead to you making the first move to kill your sister in anger but… It was your Jedi sister that did. “The darkside is said to be seductive but so can the lightside. It consumes you, remakes you. Just like the darkside.” You explained to your master.

 

“ _ Take a moment, remind yourself to _ __   
_ Take a moment and find yourself _ __   
_ Take a moment to ask yourself _ _   
_ __ If this is how we fall apart” 

 

You looked back at Kylo, placing your palm against the side of his face turning his gaze back to you. Kylo’s eyes lowed while his cheek rubbed against your hand. An intimate relationship between Master and Apprentice but there are times Kylo wonders who is the real master here. You seem so knowledgeable in the Force. In both the spiritual and combative techniques. He raised his eyes back up and turned slightly to the other you.

 

“ _ But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not”  _

 

The other you stood up wiping the tears from their eyes, the memory faded away. The orbs shattering around into the air. The other took a deep breath, closing their eyes then opened them

 

_ “It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay _ __   
_ You've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear _ _   
_ __ I'm here, I'm here, I'm here” 

 

The orbs disappeared and the other you sigh with content looking over at Kylo before disappearing. 

Kylo understood what you were showing him now. Your mind was calm and at peace because you learned not just look over and hope to forget the past. No, you faced them and expected them as they were. You moved on through moving backwards. Kylo took your hand into his, closing this eyes and projecting his thoughts to you.

 

“ _ Here comes a thought _ __   
_ That might alarm me _ __   
_ What someone said _ _   
_ __ And how it harmed me” 

 

You looked to yourself, eyes widening in disbelief. A little boy maybe not less than the age of ten, dress in Jedi Padawan robes. He was yelling a tall man older man. You looked closer at the two. The older man wasn't wearing the Jedi robes so knew that was the child’s master, the man seemed to be dressed like a….. Smuggler? You glance at Kylo then back at scene. The older man looked hurt almost heartbroken by what the boy was shouting at him. Then slowly the realization hit you. A son and his father….! The boy was a young Kylo and the man was…. “Han Solo.” Kylo spoke. “Oh.” You said. 

The man once the boy stopped yelling with tears in his eyes, gave a soft smile and kneel down offering his hand.The boy stood there looking at his father’s face then hand. He clenched his teeth, face red, shaking his head and shouting out, “I HATE YOU!” The memory then disappeared into a blur. You looked back at your master, eyes filled with concern.

 

_ “Something I did _ __   
_ That failed to be charming _ __   
_ Things that I said are _ _   
_ __ Suddenly swarming” 

 

A new memory appeared in a red mist, an older Kylo about the twenty years of age, wearing a black outfit with a standard lightsaber in hand. “Please just teach me the basics.” He begged to a woman with red hair in jedi master robes. “Ben I will not teach you the forbidden arts! End of story!” That was Mara Jade, Kylo’s old master. You only knew of her because of your grandfather Starkiller spoke of her with great admiration. Your eyes widen his shock at what happened next. 

The teenage Kylo grew angry and activated his lightsaber, the saber color was blue like his grandfather’s jedi lightsaber. “Why are you all trying to hold me back!?” Mara turned around in disbelief at Kylo’s actuation, “No it is trying to hold you back, Ben!” She had to activate her own saber when Ben got into his fighting stance. “Lair!” You need to see the rest to know what happened next. 

 

_ And, oh, I'm losing sight, I'm losing touch _

_ All these little things seem to matter so much _

_ That they confuse me   _

 

His head hang down as if in shame of all that he has done in his life, all for the power his grandfather had. The pull to the darkside bringing him to his knees. He didn’t even realized he showed you the newest memory of him killing his own father at Starkiller base. You didn’t try pull away from his mind nor shame him for killing his family members. You held his hand tightly as well as placing your other hand on top of his. 

 

_ That I might lose me _

 

Now both your mind became in sync. Voices became one. Kylo could feel your force signature fuse with his own, feeling no longer the lonely rage inside of him, now was just peace. Tranquility. A very Jedi feeling but now he understood the necessity for their teaching. He leaned forward rest his head on your chest. 

 

_ Take a moment, remind yourself to _ __   
_ Take a moment and find yourself _ __   
_ Take a moment and ask yourself if _ _   
_ __ This is how we fall apart

 

You felt each other’s weakness inside. Both sharing the fear for being alone and weak. The fear that the darkside was never going to allow you both to gain the power you search endlessly for. 

 

_ But it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not, but it's not _ __   
_ It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay _ __   
_ I've got nothing, got nothing, got nothing, got nothing to fear _ _   
_ __ I'm here, I'm here, I'm here

 

He was shaking a little as if wanting to cry, to let all his feelings out but wasn't capable to do so. He buried them so long ago. You allowed yourself to cry for him, letting the tears run down your face onto his hair. “I’m here, master.” You rubbed your nose on his hair, “I’m here.” 

 

_ And it was just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought, just a thought _ __   
_ It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay _ __   
_ We can watch, we can watch, we can watch, we can watch them go by _ _   
_ __ From here, from here, from here

 

You looked up and nudge Kylo to do the same. Now the red orbs floating above both of you. Staring in awe as the orbs floated by and fading away. Kylo looked away to look at you.

 

_ Take a moment to think of just _ __   
_ Flexibility, love, and trust _ __   
_ Take a moment to think of just _ _   
_ __ Flexibility, love, and trust

 


End file.
